Not Alone Series: Discernement

Discernment. The big "D" word.   At Franciscan, I feel like the most common reason a couple breaks up is because one of them needs ton"discern".  We could sit here and debate for hours if this is legitimate or just a soft way to let someone down.  I have my own discernment story that has its own set of ups and downs.

I grew up playing mommy with my baby dolls until I was nearly in sixth grade.   Without too much thought otherwise, I thought of my future as a mom.   Didn't think too much about the husband because that wasn't as much on my mind at that time in my life.  In high school, for legitimate or illegitimate reasons(we will just leave it at that) I started to feel like the Lord was calling me to religious life.  I felt like I was completely going against the grain even thinking about it let alone talking about it. I imagined my life as a religious sister living in a community.

Fast forward a few years and I was a student at Franciscan.   Here it was not only ok but encouraged to discern. And it was very normal to have friends gradute and go into the seminary or enter a community.  I can't even count how many friends I have that are currently pursuing religious life.   The thought of becoming  a sister just sort of faded away and married life scooted in but I still hadn't let religious life go.   I could see my self living joyfully in a community laughing with my sisters and I could see myself cuddled up with my babies after a long day of dishes, laundry, cooking and playing

 One day I was praying in the port and I felt like the Lord was telling me to not be afraid and trust in pursing married life solely.  If the Lord tells you to do something, you do it. That hasn't made everything all wildflowers and lollipops.  I still think about if the Lord is calling me to a community or even single life along with dreaming of my life as a  wife and mother.  Right now I can't tell you I know for sure but if I had to give an answer I would say I trust that in His timing a man will enter my life who will be my husband, love me as I deserve and be the father to our children.  I know that He hasn't shown me that man yet and that I am not called to enter a community right now.  So I wait in the Lord, trusting His perfect plan.