Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Not Alone Series: Friends with Guys?

Alot like Jen I feel like I can't really speak on this topic with any sort of authority because the amount of real and true guy friends I have is slim.  Of course I hang out with guys all the time, particularly when I am at school, but I don't really have any that I call up when I am having a bad day and guys aren't the first people I text when I want to do something Friday night.

To answer the question, I say their isn't any simple answer.  Being friends with guys isn't typically as easy as girls (notice I am not saying any nevers or always because this isn't a clear cut question).  I have found that when I form relationships with guys their is always this fork in the road of the relationship when I question "Do I like him?",  the answer has always been no and when I get over that hurtle our friendship rather than going down the romantic route becomes a closer friendship.  Sometimes this question takes a day to answer other times it takes longer.

Despite this, we ladies have to spend times with guys otherwise how are we going to find the one we want to marry.  For the majority of us our husbands aren't just going to come out of nowhere and fulfill our dreams.  We are going to meet them at a youth group event, at a mutual friends party, in line to get coffee,  or sitting next to us in class.  If we were to always turn our check to guys because a relationship with them wasn't as easy as with women than we might just miss out on our Mr. Future Husband.  

I have never been in a relationship but I can only imagine they complicate relationships with guy friends.  Things just can't stay the same way.  If you are trying to discern with a guy if you are called to marriage, or do enter into marriage, your relationship with guys just can't simply stay the same.  They have to change and they have to become completely transparent to your boyfriend/husband even if they totally trust you.

Finally, and more generally, though friendships with guys is possibly, they have to be different than your relationship with girls.  You can't share you heart the same way with Joe as you do with Jane, that just wouldn't be prudent.   Guys are a wealth of knowledge when we do need help figuring out guys but it would be far to intimate to share the inner working of our hearts with guys all the time.

These single years are a great time to really develop our relationship with other women so that we can prepare our heart to love a man.  That doesn't mean we can't have guy friends it just means those relationships are different and we need to focus on our relationship with other women.

A little vague right?  Does what I am trying to say make sense?


Since I know you all are wedding junkies come back for photos of the wedding I was in this past Saturday. Until then check out my instagram for some sneak peaks.

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