Not Alone Series: Envy and Singlehood

Ugh I hate this topic mainly because I hate the word envy.  It is such a strong word.  If you know me in real life then you know that I am always saying words are too strong or too weak and don't actually convey what I am trying to say.  Envy and singlehood just sounds so green eyed monstered, girl with crazy eyes.

I say all this though and it may seem like I don't struggle.  Trust me I struggle.  In fact this topic comes at a perfect time.  This past Friday I went to my third weeding in three weekends.  At some point during the wedding day festivities it just all kind of hit and I didn't want to be that single girl going to another wedding.  It didn't help that one of the friends I was visiting had a new fantastic boyfriend.  It wasn't her fault, I loved that I got to meet him and hear all about the struggles and great things with him and their relationship and I wouldn't change any of that.  (Emily if you read this it wasn't about you, it was about me and my struggles.) But with the weddings it was a hard reminder that I didn't have a guy texting me to see how all the traveling was going, a guy to call mine, a guy to tell my friends about.  Do you hear the envy and wallow weaved throughout this.  Ugh I hate it.  But we all struggle.  I did turn and cling to the Lord. Send a quick text to a household sister or two asking them just to pray for me as a struggled a bit.

I hate writing this out.  But I do it because this is real.  A majority of the time I cling to the Lord with all my heart and mind that He has a perfect plan for me.  My mind always knows this but sometimes my heart slips and I become weak.  I have envy of the girls who have that boyfriend, fiance, husband, male interest.  So please pray for me as I continue to pray for all of you.  That all of us can turn from envy and with all our heart, mind, and soul trust in the Lord who has our lives in His hands and loves us more than we can ever imagine.

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Now that I am back and have a week off from work prepare for more posts about this beautiful new design, running, book reviews, and weddings.