Sunday, January 18, 2015

Why am I busy?

I recently had a very insightful conversation with a friend.  If you have been around this blog, specifically the NAS: Day in the Life, you know that I typically work 55-60 hours a week between my nursing job and my nanny job.  Before I got the nanny job I had alot of extra time on my hands and since getting the nanny job I have very little time that is allocated to a job or a scheduled event.  I love it and I hate it all at the same time.

Well my nanny hours are going to be drastically less very soon.  The mother of the family I nanny for is back at work and they need someone who has a more stable schedule than me, the nurse with an ever changing schedule.  Once they find someone I will be doing more PRN work for them (as needed for you non medical people). This means that I will have a lot more "free time."

I was talking to my friend and telling her about how I am excited about having more time available to visit localish friends, make dinner, go to Mass, and work out but I am also afraid I am going to have too much extra time making me feel lonely.  She challenged me asking why I felt the need to fill my time.  Was it related to deep seeded fear or just simply my extreme extravertedness?  Right now, I don't have the answer but I am fascinated by the question and want to dive deeper into it.

Part of this is I realize extra time is a fleeting thing that will pass when I one day Lord willing transition from singleness to a marriage and family so how so I take hold of my time and the special opportunities available to singles while still single.  What even is it I should be doing besides this elusive "discovering yourself" and more time in prayer.  How can I fill my time purposefully and with things that actually make me a better person.  

Part of the purpose of this post is a journal entry of sorts but I am also interested if you have any thoughts?  Past experiences? Current struggle?
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2 comments:

  1. What an exciting opportunity to look forward to!

    At this point in my life still in college, I don't have a whole lot of free time. But over breaks when I do have a lot of time quite frankly I don't know what to do with myself! So I would probably be a little nervous but still excited being in your shoes. As more of a long-term arrangement, maybe pursuing some sort of hobby would be good? If I were crafty, I would start an Etsy shop. If you don't already have something like that, maybe trying different things out would be fun! Once I am out of college, I'd love to volunteer at lots of places. I guess that depends on what's around you :-) Excited to hear how things go as you approach this change!

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  2. Since taking a 9 to 5 job at my parish a few years ago - and now living by myself for the first time since moving to North Carolina in 2008 - I have a lot of time to myself. Some I spend very productively and some not, but I really like having an evening at home where I can do a few yoga videos, cook dinner, and watch TV or read a book without anyone around. It takes some getting used to, but I find it worthwhile if you don't focus on 'why don't I have anything to do?' all the time.

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