Friday, July 18, 2014

Hopefully Not Just Another Emotional Chastity Post

Sometimes there are articles that have so much goodness in them you just have to have to have to share.  This is one. Out of Eden writes about Emotional Chastity.  Emotional chastity is one of those words that gets tossed around alot.  Is it sometimes overused and used in the wrong circumstances?  Absolutely.  Is it something that cannot be overlooked in our hearts?  You bet your bottom dollar.  

Over the years emotional chastity is something that I have chosen to fight for.  I am aware of the ways my emotions sometimes go off the proverbial cliff and lead me to dark places.  They leave me feeling empty and alone.  However, I have also had the recent experience of realizing that emotions do have to be felt and it is ok to want.  Emotional chastity, like physical chastity is finding that balance.  

So let's pull out some lines from Out of Eden's post and gush a little. 
"God wants you! He wants to be in a relationship with you. Trust me He’s not thinking about much else, nor do you want Him to be. Ladies, if you feel stupid for this desire, DON’T! Gentlemen I know this can be a bit intimidating and pressure filled. I’ve heard so many men say, “She just wants to get married.” I know she can be a bit scary when she gets like this; but I have confidence that you can handle it. You bear the image of God’s strength; fear is okay, cowardice is not. St. Joesmarie says, “Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the refusal to be mastered by it!”
The Creator of the Universe wants to be in a relationship with us.  He is constantly pursuing us.  It began with the sacrifice of the Cross and continues in the miracles, the sunsets, the answered prayers, and the just because texts.  We want more and more and He is never outdone in generosity.  And one of the ways he shows this love is through an earthly man who lives in imitation of Jesus.  And that man needs to have the confidence to fight for us.  We must be cautious to give our hearts to men who are scared of pursuing.  Those men need to grow up and find strength that only the Lord can give them. When a knight comes along who can handle fighting for you, he will handle your heart carefully and realize the prized gem that it is. 
"I hear men say things like, “well, I’m just going to get to know her and we’ll see what happens.” Sorry to say it men but this is cowardly. If you are interested in getting to know her because you may want to date her then what is stopping you from asking her out on a date? Your intentions are not honest and friends do not treat each other like this. " 
Men, fight for women.  Pursue her.  Tell her she is beautiful.  Discern a relationship with her.  But don't lead her on.  Don't treat her like you like her if you are never going to date her.  I fully realize that we women expect you to walk on this very fine line and that isn't fair.  Let's work together encourage each other without encouraging each other so much that we think there might maybe one day in the future be an "us" when there is not.   We are not going to be perfect at this whole guy-girl thing but lets not give up and keep trying
"Our lives are sacraments; outward signs that convey an internal reality. If the outside is conveying something different than what the internal reality actually is, something is wrong or they very least, something is off."
 Amen.  We must mold our hearts through prayer and communion with the Lord to what we want our lives to be.  In addition, we cannot play house with men.  We cannot act like we are in a committed relationship without actually being in a committed relationship.  
"Man bears the image of God by being the purser. He is supposed to go outside of himself to capture your heart. THIS IS WHAT JESUS DOES!! He came to humanity, as we are, to capture our hearts."
We can't settle for someone who half heartedly wants to hang out with us when it is convenient.  If we want to marry a man who leads a family with Christ like strength then we must date men who are Christ like in their pursuing.
"Lengthy and intimate conversations about your spiritual life and/or your “heart."...The problem with having friendships like this is that the man is anchoring himself inside of a woman’s heart. And if you are spiritually inside her you should be physically inside her (or at the very least headed in that direction). Women have an ability to draw people into themselves. That being said it is not always good that we do.  Often times men do not understand this aspect of a woman’s make-up. Sexuality for her is directly connected to her insides. She is an internal being.   These conversations with her can be like emotional sex. "  
Oh guilty.  Too often we fall into the devil's trap that "good holy dating" is not falling into physical promiscuity and sharing deep parts of your faith.  I talked about it here in detail but relationships are like a pyramid, you cannot be 100 miles ahead in the spiritual aspect of your relationship when you emotions and body are have barely left point A.  We are body and soul and relationships must reflect that unity.  A friend's boyfriend and I once had a conversation about how important it was to him to not go to Mass everyday with my friend because of how intimate attending the Holy Mass with someone is.  Don't fall into the trap that praying a daily rosary, a holy hour, and sharing every word of our conversation with the Lord with a significant other is a good thing.  Our relationship with our Creator is the most intimate part of our lives, we cannot take it casually.   

And the post ends with a final thought for men from the ladies.
"Please be patient with us. It is so very hard to spend a life-time waiting. Society tells us that we should not wait. It encourages this constant grasping after what you want, kinda like a pirate. But we know we were made for more. So if you catch us “racing to the altar” don’t be afraid. Just say a prayer for us."

Thank you men who are praying for us ladies. I am waiting for my man who will be courageous, who will guard my heart like a precious jewel, who will live a sacramental life with me, who will fight the good fight of faith with me.  I know I have given you so many great gems of Out of Eden's post already but please go read it for yourself.  I hope it will stop you dead in the surfing as much as did for me.  Ladies I hope you will wait with me and grow in His love and grace.  Gentlemen, especially my gentleman, I pray for you as you grow in your knighthood, in His love, and in courage. 
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1 comment:

  1. Gah! This is so good, Natalie. Thanks for sharing! I can only imagine how terrifying it may be to some men about the whole "race to the altar" thing. But both genders definitely need to pursue a deeper understanding of each other. For us women society says it is SO FREAKING ABNORMAL to do this whole waiting thing, which makes it very hard sometimes to be convinced to our core that it's worth it. I know it is. I will not waver. But goodness gracious would it be nice to be encouraged more, not told we're freaks. I figure the good guys will be brave enough to pursue us no matter what, but this definitely takes a lot of prayer and commitment. Thanks for writing about it. Yay solidarity!