Sunday, December 28, 2014

Why I Hate Going Home

As soon as I breeze through the toll booth with my EZ-pass and turn off the freeway everything becomes familiar and I know it is less than 30 minutes to my parents' house.  I have gone this way many times, the same way I would come home from college.  I pass where my dad gets on the highway to go to work, my chiropractor, my hairdresser, and the road that goes to my Church.  I drive another 5 minutes and I turn onto my road.  My heart already hurts.  I love seeing my family, my dogs, and my goddaughter.  I enjoy lounging on the large couch in front of the fireplace,  the free laundry, and the double vanity sink.  However, sometimes this is over shadowed by my lack of trust and understanding.

I want to be living my life here.  Don't get me wrong, I know I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to be doing.  I am working my dream job, witnessing multiples babies born each week and helping women become a mother to a new a little one.  I live in my own apartment and my own group of friends and activities.  I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be.  I don't think I would know how much I love home if I wasn't spending a period of time away from it. However, that doesn't change the fact that when I am home I wish His plan was for me to be here, now.  I hope and pray that in the future I am raising my family not too far from where I grew up but for now I have to fall into the trust that I am exactly where He wants me to be.  Do you see the tension between what you want and what you know is right.  Between your heart's desires and His desires.  I continue to pray, continue to trust, and continue to thrive where I am planted.  
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