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A few years ago I was reading How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul and was inspired to come up with list of what I wanted in my future husband. The most interesting thing about this little activity was that everything that immediately came to my mind was about what he would do rather than really pinpointing who he was. At the heart of the matter it doesn't matter if my husband will be awesome in the early postpartum weeks, take out the trash, or tell me I am beautiful. What does matter if his actions reflect an authentic sacramental love for me and if who he is as a man will help lead me to heaven. When it all boils down those are the deal breakers. The things that I will not compromise because eternity with Christ is a big deal. I really want to say deal breakers include him being responsible with money, have a daily mass devotion and be ok with my homebirthy/crunchhippy self but I know and have faith that the Lord works through any of our boundaries if it is His will. So really I just pray that I have eyes to see the man the Lord has for me to marry, to enter into that sacrament of marriage and to journey to heaven with.
This is nothing that I planned for this post to be. I really did plan on talking about daily mass devotion, breastfeeding and baby wearing, balancing the budget and my ideal master bedroom but what a lesson it is to remember that all these things are just ways that the Lord romances me through my husband's compatibility and understanding. That my husband will love me for who I am including all my quirks, desires and dreams. My deal breakers are weak and fluid but my desire for heaven is strong.
I like your focus being on honoring the Lord, not finding someone who matches your personality or quirks. Good perspective! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is an awesome perspective! So many people forget about that part. Because really marriage is about getting one another to heaven!
ReplyDeleteohhhhh, Natalie! Good stuff, here my friend. I think we should always keep in mind our goal of getting our spouse to Heaven, and it's ok to have some things we will not compromise on. That could be the fact that your future hubby is a practicing Catholic or the fact that you won't use contraception. Ya know? I feel like those are obvious to us, or just assumed, but I feel like it is a good exercise to think about those things every now and then.
ReplyDeleteand BABY WEARING!!!! I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! :) I didn't comment in your crunchy post... but I have a few things that I enjoy about the crunchy life. One of which is most definitely baby wearing. I really only know about it because of my friend, Martha... but I am SO happy she introduced me to this world. And maybeeee I have now given the idea of a natural birth space in my head. Maaaaaybeee.